


Holding Out For A Hero

by fesbian_leminist



Series: Walking a Bloody Path [2]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: A bit heavier on the angst i guess, Blood and Injury, Depression, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Mature because there's fucking, Post-Time Skip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:47:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27966308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fesbian_leminist/pseuds/fesbian_leminist
Summary: Five years of war is challenging Mercedes' faith. Five years without any real progress, without any clear end in site. Five years of death without purpose. Five years of fighting against what she'd once believed so deeply in.Five years without Byleth.She knows that she's fighting for the right thing. That she can't give up on the chance at a better world. Knowing that doesn't make the doing any easier.
Relationships: Mercedes von Martritz/My Unit | Byleth
Series: Walking a Bloody Path [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2027210
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	Holding Out For A Hero

“I was wondering if you'd like to dance with me. It's just so loud in the reception hall, though. I think it'd be nice for us to stay here, if that's alright.” Byleth nodded and Mercedes smiled, face flushing a little as Byleth held out her hand. “Thank you. I appreciate it.” She took her hand, placing her other on Byleth's waist while Byleth's rested gently on her shoulder. She closed her eyes for a moment, taking a breath as she heard the hint of a song drifting across from the reception hall before slowly starting to waltz around the tower.

“Not much space to move around in here. Hope you don't have any overly complicated moves in mind.” Mercedes giggled and shook her head, cheeks burning a little more as Byleth smiled up at her and kept slowly moving around their little platform. “I'm glad. I'm better at these slow, simple dances anyway. Not so many movements to concentrate on. Easier to just enjoy the moment.” Mercedes nodded, still staring down at Byleth's face, hoping that her own wasn't becoming too red. She hadn't expected she'd have a chance to be so close to her tonight. There'd been so many people trying to dance with Byleth. It seemed impossible that she'd ever have an opportunity.

Mercedes didn't know when she'd become attracted to her. Didn't know if she had been from the moment she'd first saw her. Didn't seem to matter, really. At some point she'd realised it and from then it had become so much harder to concentrate on anything else. She tried, of course. Tried and mostly succeeded in paying attention to whatever lessons were being taught. To whatever they were talking about over tea. Having something to concentrate on made it easier to stop her mind from wandering. To catch her gaze from drifting too far across Byleth's body. There weren't any distractions here, though. Nothing but the two of them, dancing in silence. Holding each other. It was exhilarating. It was terrifying.

Mercedes pushed her hand a little further around Byleth's waist, pulling her in closer and praying she wouldn't pull away. She tried to keep her breathing steady as Byleth stared up at her, a little smile appearing on her face before she moved in towards her. Her skin started to burn as she felt Byleth's chest brush against hers, as she stared up into her eyes, close enough that their faces were almost touching. That she'd barely have to lean down to her to…

“Professor… I...” Her words drifted away as she felt Byleth's hand pushing across from her shoulder to her neck, felt fingers sliding up through her hair.

“Call me Byleth. Please.” Mercedes bit her lip, nodding gently as her gaze fell down to Byleth's mouth. Her lips looked so soft. So gentle. She wondered if it would be like the girls she'd kissed back at church. Wondered how much better it could. Heat pooled in her stomach as her hand slipped further round Byleth, as she took a breath and stared back into her eyes.

“Byleth… Could I… Could I kiss you?” Byleth stared at her for a moment before nodding, and Mercedes felt a wave of heat crashing through as she watched her close her eyes, as she felt their bodies pressing together. She swallowed before slowly leaning down, closing her own eyes just before their lips touched. Just before they finally kissed.

~

Mercedes was confused for a moment. She didn't know where she was. Where the light was coming from. She pushed herself out of bed, looking around her room and feeling her heart start to ache again. It had been almost five years, and she'd never stopped having that dream. Never stopped wishing, at least for a moment, that she could have just stayed in it.

It was always worse during the Ethereal Moon. She hadn't gone a night recently without seeing Byleth again, without her mind taunting her about what she hadn't done. What she hadn't been brave enough to ask.

That night was a beautiful memory to her. It was agonising. The two of them had danced and danced and it was perfect and Mercedes hadn't been able to ask for any more no matter how desperately she'd wanted to. It had been too painful a thought. Even if Byleth had wanted to, she'd be married off to some noble at some point. Wouldn't have a choice in the matter. It would have hurt too much to have something she so wanted when it was going to be taken from her so soon.

Then Byleth turned against the Church of Seiros, and she'd followed her. Abandoned everything she'd ever known. It wasn't just because of her, even if she couldn't deny that part of her would have followed Byleth anywhere. She saw Rhea transform. Seen the truth of what she was, what the Church was. She'd thought of how crests had destroyed her family, how they'd hurt so many others. How her own would see her married off to some noble to cement a bit more power for her father. There hadn't been much of a choice after that. Hadn't been anywhere else she herself being, no matter how much it had hurt.

But Byleth had been there too, and that had made it easier. That had made her feel hopeful. Not just that they could win, that they could create a better world. That she could be happy. That she could choose who she wanted to spend her life with. Could choose Byleth, and pray that Byleth would choose her. And then Byleth was gone, trapped in the monastery that Rhea had brought down on top of her.

Mercedes had given up on finding her a long time ago. It had felt selfish to keep searching when she could actually make a difference somewhere else. Refugees she could help as they fled from wherever the latest battle was. Injured soldiers she could heal, so that they could keep killing and dying in later battles. Friends she could save so she could watch them become stronger and colder as the fighting dragged on and on. It had been five years, and nothing had changed. No significant progress made since they'd taken the monastery. She didn't doubt that she'd made the right choice siding against the Church, that she was still doing at least some good by saving the lives she saved. It was just hard to see it sometimes. It was easier to wish that she could just keep dreaming forever, holding Byleth and being held by her, never having to witness all this death. All this misery.

She fell back on to the bed, hugging herself tight and closing her eyes as tears started streaming down her face. Better to get it out of the way now, at the start of the day. Better than having people worry about her. There was more that enough weighing on their minds as it was. She had no desire to add her own troubles to that load.

~

Mercedes liked taking her tea in the gardens when she could. Certainly, it offered less privacy than her room, and at this time of year it was a little colder than ideal. Still, she appreciated feeling the sun on her face. Appreciated being able to relax out in the air when it wasn't working. Healthier than just locking herself in her room and wallowing in her own sadness. Happier. She'd take any happiness she could at the moment.

She took a sip of her tea, watching the soldiers marching past and sighing. They were preparing for another offensive. The Great Bridge of Myrddin. Edelgard was hoping to secure a route into Alliance territory, one that she hoped would help remove them from the war entirely. She couldn't deny that she hoped for the same. For anything that could actually end this war. She just didn't expect anything to come of it. Nothing but more broken bodies for her to try and heal. More death that achieved nothing. That meant nothing.

She closed her eyes, setting her cup down on the table and thinking about Byleth. They'd had tea here a few times. Mostly Byleth invited her, but she'd always been happy to join her when Mercedes had asked. Another reason for her to drink out here when she could. A chance to bask in memories of a happier time. Byleth smiling and chuckling as they chatted. Feeling her cheeks flush a little whenever their eyes met. That giddy ache that overcame her when they parted ways, wishing they could have spent more time together. That she could have just said what was actually on her mind when she stared into her beautiful, blue eyes.

“Mercedes! Mind if I join you?” She jerked in her seat, opening her eyes and giving a little nod as she saw Ingrid walking towards her. Couldn't think of a reason to say no, and if she couldn't be alone, Ingrid was at least the company she would have chosen. She always liked talking with her, liked sitting in silence with her. Had done since they'd first met at the monastery all those years ago. “Are you feeling alright? You look tired.”

“I'm fine. Just been a busy day, that's all.” Ingrid nodded and sat down across from her, smiling as Mercedes filled a cup and passed it to her. “You're looking a little tired yourself, if I may say so. You haven't been pushing yourself too hard with your training, have you?” Ingrid shook her head, taking a sip of her tea and wincing as she quickly put the cup back down. Mercedes giggled, trying not to grin too much as she saw Ingrid's cheeks flush. She always drank it too hot. Never seemed to learn. It really was quite cute.

“I've got to work hard right now. Got to make sure all the soldiers are ready for the assault. Not going too hard, though. None of us are going to be any use if we hurt ourselves before we even reach the bridge.” Mercedes nodded, eyes drifting to the scar on the side of her neck. A stray arrow had nicked it during training. Someone had spooked an archer before she fired. It had been a close one. She remembered Ingrid looking scared, gripping her neck as she rushed across to her. Remembered how close to panic she'd been before her magic had closed the wound up. Remembered the blood pooling on the ground beneath her. The only time she'd come close to dying in this war, and it had been an accident. It was almost funny.

“That's good to hear. I have enough work to do healing people up without you adding to it.” She couldn't remember shouting at anyone as much as she'd shouted at that archer. Had screamed at the fool training her. Couldn't remember ever being so angry as that. It had been a shock to her. Seemed to shock everyone else too, judging by how long it had taken Constance to pull her away. “Do you think this is actually going to get us anywhere this time?”

“I do. It's a good plan, and it's a battle we can win. It's a foothold we can take Derdriu from. That we can win this war from.” Ingrid smiled at her, and she nodded back, trying not to react as the saw the smile falter for a moment. As she watched her glance back down at her cup and gently swirl it around. “If it doesn't, the next plan will. Or the one after that. One of them will, because it has too. Crests and nobility and the Church have ruined too many lives. Have ruined ours. We can't… We have to end it, and we will. No matter how long it takes.”

Mercedes nodded again, taking another sip of her tea and trying to think of something to say. She had no plans to give up. Had no plans of being anywhere but here, because this was the right place to be. Fighting against Rhea and the Church was the right thing to do. That they had to keep trying, no matter how hard it was. No matter how miserable it was.

“I'm sorry. I know we have to keep going. That we have to believe that this is going to work. I just… I'm struggling to feel hopeful about any of this at the moment.” Ingrid stared at her for a moment, the frown on her face suddenly being replaced by a smile as she stretched out a hand towards her. Mercedes glanced down at it, smiling and blushing a little as she took hold of it and felt Ingrid give her a squeeze. It always surprised her how gentle she could be. How kind. She was always training so hard, fighting so hard. Trying so hard to be the perfect knight. Amidst all the bloodshed, Mercedes forgot that being kind and gentle and good was a part of that. At least, it was for Ingrid.

“It's alright. This war's taking a toll on all of us. I can't see how it couldn't. But if you ever need to talk or need company or need anything at all, well… I'm always here. Always will be.” Mercedes nodded, smiling a little more as she saw her face start to turn red. It was cute. She really was much better at listening than talking about her feelings. Or at least, much less embarrassed by it.

“I've been having dreams. About our time at the monastery, before all of this started. Been having them for a while. Could I tell you about them?” Ingrid nodded, leaning forward and staring intently. Mercedes giggled, taking another sip of her tea and grinning as she watched her face redden a little more. It really was sweet how hard she tried. “Do you remember the ball? It was almost five years ago, a few months before… All of this.”

“I do. Very stuffy, very fancy. Enjoyed dancing with you though.” Ingrid grinned, and Mercedes grinned back, giving her hand a little squeeze.

“And I you. You looked very handsome that night. Not as handsome as you do now, of course, but still.” Mercedes giggled as Ingrid turned away, cheeks practically glowing as she tried not to choke on her tea. She was delightfully easy to tease. Only ever took a compliment. It really was adorable. “I met the professor that night, in the Goddess Tower. I hadn't planned on it but… Well, I was glad of it. I'd been hoping for it.”

“Oh. You, uh… Go on.”

“We talked for a while. Then I asked her if she'd like to stay and dance, and she did. I can't remember how long we were there, but it felt so romantic. Felt so wonderful.” Ingrid nodded, and Mercedes sighed, looking down at her cup and feeling her face start to heat up. She'd never told anyone about her dreams before. Had never even told anyone about meeting Byleth at the tower. “In my dreams we're there for hours. I ask her to kiss me and she does and it's so gentle and perfect and then I'm awake and I'm here. I'm fighting this war and she's gone. Sometimes wish I could just keep dreaming.”

“I'm sorry. That sounds… I'm sorry.” She looked back up, forcing herself to smile back at Ingrid, feeling a little bit of relief as she felt her hand being squeezed tight. “So… You two didn't, uh...”

“No. I didn't even ask. I was too afraid. Think that's part of what makes these dreams so hard.” Ingrid nodded, giving her hand another squeeze and letting out a little sigh. “I liked her. I cared for her, and part of me started praying that she card for me too. She made me feel safe and strong and… She made me feel that I was more than just something to be married off. That my dreams mattered. That I mattered. Goddess, this is stupid, isn't it?”

“No, it's not. It's really not. I know what it's like to lose someone, and even if you don't know that she cared for you the same way, you were still her friend. She was still yours, and there were things you left unsaid with her. That hurts, and it's not stupid for it to hurt.” Mercedes sniffed, reaching up to wipe a tear away as Ingrid smiled sadly and stared at her. “You are beautiful and wonderful and so, so kind. Your dreams matter and you matter and you'll find someone who thinks the same. Someone who appreciates you for how perfect and brilliant you are.”

“Ingrid, I… Thank you.” Ingrid smiled, still holding her hand tight, still staring into her eyes. She was so handsome. So strong and kind and brave. She was a perfect knight. “Honestly, if I didn't know you better, I'd think you were making a confession right now.” Ingrid kept staring, mouth hanging open in confusion for a moment before she quickly let go of her hand stared down into her tea.

“No! I mean, I like you, and I think that all that stuff I said is true, but I mean, not like that, because… That would be weird and I don't want to make this weird and… I'm sorry.” Mercedes covered her mouth, trying to stifle her giggles as Ingrid's lifted her gaze from the tea cup, face glowing red where it wasn't covered by hands.

“It's alright, it's alright. I know you don't feel that way. I was just teasing because… Well, it's cute when you get all flustered like this.” Ingrid let out a groan, and Mercedes leaned back in her chair and smiled. “You're my friend. Nice as the thought of being swept off my feet by such a dashing young knight is, I know that's all we are. That's fine, because you really are a wonderful friend to me. I promise.”

“I… Sorry. And thank you. That means a lot.” Her hands lowered to the table again, face still glowing as she met her gaze with a nervous grin. Mercedes smiled back, taking a sip and watching her shakily reach for her own cup. Ingrid kept staring at her eyes the whole time, and Mercedes felt her cheeks flush a little as Ingrid reached forward for her hand again. “Mercedes… I...” Whatever she was going to say was cut short when Sylvain's hands slammed into the table between them and made her shoot out of her chair with a scream.

“Sorry to interrupt you two love-birds, but why are you just sitting here? Haven't you heard the news?” Mercedes' heart was still pounding as she watched Ingrid take in a deep breath before leaning over the table and glaring at Sylvain, who took a step back on to the grass.

“We are not love-birds, and I and going to kill you if you ever scare me like that again, and what are you talking about? What news?” Sylvain crossed his arms across his chest, grinning smugly as he took another few steps back from the table.

“The professor's back. Edelgard found her wandering into the monastery. Pretty sure everyone else already knows, though I guess you two were pretty engrossed in each other. Not that I can blame either of you.” Sylvain gave her a wink, and she kept staring up at him, vaguely aware of Ingrid saying something at her side. Of Sylvain answering her before the two of them were stood in front of her, staring down at her with a concerned look on their faces.

“Hey. Hey, Mercedes, are you alright? You still with us?” Ingrid was gripping her shoulders, leaning down in front of her face, and she finally met her gaze, smiling and nodding as she stood.

“Of course I am. Just surprised. We should go see her, don't you think?” Ingrid nodded, still looking a bit worried as she calmly packed away her tea set and smiled sweetly back at Sylvain, who was grinning nervously back at her. “Thank you for letting us know. I appreciate it.” He nodded, and Mercedes kept smiling, kept packing away all of her things and trying not to panic. Trying not to let herself become too hopeful. She didn't think she'd be able to survive having that taken away from her again.

~

It had been three days. Three days since she'd seen her standing there silently next to Edelgard while she gave one another one of her speeches. Three days since she'd appeared back in their lives, looking exactly the same as the day she'd disappeared. As though nothing had happened.

Mercedes hadn't been able to speak to her. Hadn't had a chance. There'd been so many big meetings, so much time spent going over battle plans, catching her up with what had happened. She couldn't begrudge that, couldn't deny the importance of it. That didn't stop it from being frustrating. Didn't stop it from hurting.

There weren't any meetings today. Wasn't anything planned at all. A chance for everyone to relax before the big push. She didn't know what to do with herself. She'd woken up, assuming she'd get dressed and go hunt down Byleth. Tell her how much she'd missed her these past five years. Tell her everything she'd wanted to that night in the Goddess Tower. She hadn't been able to leave her room, though. Hadn't been able to get past the door. Was just sitting on her bed, staring down at letter she'd found slipped under it. Trying not to panic.

Her father had arranged a marriage for her. Five years into this war and all he could think of was marrying her off, trying to secure some kind of power by using her crest. As though he didn't know what they were fighting for. As though this was in any way important right now.

She closed her eyes, trying to control her breathing, trying to ignore the urge to start crying. Her previous step-father would have taken her for his wife when she was younger, if Emile hadn't stopped him. Hadn't killed him. Had ruined all of their lives over a stupid crest. She doubted this one would be so forceful about it. That was part of the problem, really. He might be greedy, but he'd taken care of her. He was the closest thing to a father she had. Going against his wishes to fight in this war had been hard enough. To refuse this as well… She wasn't sure if there would be any kind of relationship left at that point. Wasn't sure if she was strong enough to do that.

She jumped as she heard a knock at the door, staring up at it for a moment before rising. She slowly moved towards it, wondering who could be visiting her. Ingrid, perhaps. Possibly Emile, if he wasn't absorbed in his training. She wasn't sure if she wanted to see anyone. Wasn't sure if she could bear any company today. She grabbed the handle, holding it for a second before pushing it open and seeing Byleth on the other side, green hair spilling down round her face, a small smile tugging at her lips.

“I was out for a walk. Couldn't find you anywhere, so I thought I'd check here. Can I come in?” Mercedes stared at her for a moment before nodding, stepping aside as she moved into the room and looked around. “I met your brother on the way here. Jeritza. He's… He's an odd man.” She kept staring at her, trying to force herself to speak. Trying not to just burst into tears.

“He's been through a lot. And anyway, you're hardly one to talk, are you?” Byleth turned to her, looking at her blankly before nodding, and Mercedes wished she could take it back. Could say something else. It felt mean. She didn't want to be mean. Hadn't expected it to be something she'd have to stop herself from doing. “He's not a threat to you. Not a threat to anyone but Edelgard's enemies. You don't have to worry.”

“I'm not. I assumed he wouldn't be here if he was. Just didn't expect to see him eating so much ice cream.” Byleth kept staring at her, tapping a foot before sighing and turning to the door. “I'm sorry. I can leave if I'm bothering you. I don't want to intrude.” Mercedes quickly stepped forward, shaking her head, holding herself back from hugging her. From telling her she never wanted her to go again.

“No! I mean… Please stay. It's been five years. I'd like to catch up.” Mercedes gestured to the bed, watching Byleth sit on it, watched her eyes turn to the floor as she took a seat next to her. Mercedes joined her, staring at the floor for a while, clasping her hands tight in her lap before finally letting out a sigh. “I'm sorry. I just… I never stopped praying that you'd come back. Just never really expected it to happen, either. I just…. Why now?”

“I don't know. I was asleep, or I was dead. Whatever I was, I wasn't here.” She glanced across at Byleth, watching her clench a fist tight on her knee. Watching her frown a little as she kept staring at the floor. “I woke up and five years had passed. That battle at the monastery felt like it happened yesterday, and now everything's different. You've all spent five years fighting and I… I've been gone. I've been useless. It's confusing.”

“Professor...” Byleth looked up at her, and Mercedes wanted to slap her. Wanted to kiss her. Wanted to help. “You would have been here if you had a choice. Would have been fighting alongside us. I know you would have. You can't blame yourself for things you can't control.”

“I know. Still do, but… Thank you. I appreciate it.” Mercedes nodded, feeling a little bit of warmth spread through her chest as Byleth gave her a little smile. She was so beautiful. That hadn't changed, either. “Also, I'd prefer it if you called me Byleth. Professor feels… It feels strange.”

“Alright, Prof… Byleth. Sorry. I'll get used to it.” She smiled back at Byleth before turning away and looking at the floor again. Giving her leg a pinch. She was sure she was awake, but it couldn't hurt to check. She'd dreamt about her this morning, after all. Entirely possible that she'd be dreaming about her still.

“I've been asking after you. Sounds like you've saved a lot of lives. Saved a lot of our friends. I'm proud of you.” She glanced at Byleth from the corner of her eye, cheeks flushing a little as she saw the smile growing on her face. As she spotted a little blush rising to her own cheeks. “I never expected to find you here, to be honest. I'm glad you are, glad you're helping people. Just didn't think you'd be cut out for war.”

“I'm surprised too. Not exactly where I saw myself, no matter how righteous the cause.” She lifted her head, looking up at the ceiling and sighing again. “I don't think that I am cut out for this. Still, it's going to make the world better. It's the right thing to do right now. Once it's done, I can keep helping people, and maybe one day that'll make up for the awfulness of it all.” She closed her eyes, feeling her breathing calm as she listened to Byleth's silence. As she let it wash over her.

“You're wonderful and gentle and kind. I'm truly glad you're still around. People like you are the ones who'll make it better. Who'll make it a world that was worth fighting for.” She turned to her, smiling a little as she watched her rub her head and look out the window. “Sorry. Rambling a little. Can talk about something else if you want. Anything at all.” Mercedes nodded, not sure that she had anything to say till she looked back at the letter. Her arranged marriage was hardly a light subject, but at least it was different. At least it was something she might be able to do something about.

“My adopted father has arranged a marriage for me. Some wealthy noble who'd be happy to have children with my crest. He can't seem to see that there's more important things happening right now. That this war will make my crest meaningless.” She sighed, smiling a little as Byleth sat up straight and started humming quietly. She always liked having a problem to solve. Something solid to think about. Mercedes was glad she'd given her one. It had been so long since she'd seen her concentrating like that. It was wonderful to see it again.

“I suppose he might be trying to leverage your crest while it still means something. Use you to get into the nobility while he can. Unpleasant.” Mercedes looked away, sighing and nodding slowly.

“I know. I just don't know what to do about it. It's frustrating.”

“Will you say yes?” She looked back at Byleth, feeling her face flush a little as she met her gaze. As she found herself staring into those beautiful green eyes, so different from when they'd first met.

“It's not what my heart wants, but what option is there?” Byleth kept staring at her as a smile crept onto her face, and Mercedes felt herself becoming even redder.

“Well, what does your heart want?” She caught herself before she said Byleth's name, quickly turning away as her heart started pounding. It wasn't that it was wrong. There were just so many other things she wanted, too. Things she'd wanted so much longer.

“I want to help people who need help. Previously, I wanted to do it through the Church. Now, I just want to help people in any way I can. If I'm married to a noble so he can have children with crests, that'll probably be harder.” Mercedes closed her eyes, sighing and trying not to think too much about running off with Byleth instead. Of travelling the country, helping people who needed it wherever they went. Byleth wouldn't get in the way of that. Wouldn't just want her for some stupid little crest.

“Then why can't you just decline?”

“It's just… I've always followed the decisions of those above me. Convinced myself it was the will of the goddess. She took me to the Church, and she took me from it and to the Officers Academy. Fighting in this war was the first time I made a choice for myself, and I had to fight my father for that. Had to fight to convince him.” She lifted her head, smiling weakly at Byleth, sighing again and trying to fight the urge to cry. She'd missed talking with Byleth. Missed being around her. Missed it so much more than she'd realised. “I don't know what to do. I don't think I'll be able to convince him that I'm right to refuse this. I worry that it'll sever whatever ties we have left.”

“Well, you can't give up on your dreams. It's not right. They're good dreams.” Mercedes looked back at Byleth, grinning a little as she saw her nodding to herself, hands clasped in front of her face like she was deep in thought. She was so cute sometimes. So hard to argue with.

“I suppose. We all only have one life, so it only seems right that we try and do what makes us happy in it.” Byleth kept nodding, giving her a quick thumbs up that made her giggle. She made it sound so simple. Like she could just do whatever she wanted without any consideration of what her father wanted. Which… Well, why couldn't she? “You're right. I'll write to him and tell him I refuse. That I have a life I want to live. Maybe I'll just tell him I've fallen for someone else, too.”

“Oh? Who have you fallen for?” Mercedes smiled, turning to Byleth and hearing the words come out of her mouth before she had a chance to stop them.

“You, of course.” Byleth stared at her with reddening cheeks and a blank look on her face, and Mercedes forced herself to keep smiling. Prayed that her face wasn't as red as it felt. That Byleth would say something and put her out of her misery before she had to do it herself.

“Huh. Didn't think it was “Of course”, but...” Byleth trailed off, and Mercedes forced a giggle, gripping her knees and rising to her feet.

“Well that's because I was just teasing.” Byleth stared up at her for a moment, blank look still on her face as she sighed and rose with her. “Sorry for that. It's been nice talking to you, but I should really get writing that letter to my father now, don't you think?”

“I suppose. Seems important. Still, it's a shame about the teasing.” Mercedes nodded, smiling sweetly and cocking her head as she finished processing what she was saying.

“Why is it a shame?” Byleth looked at her with a grin, cheeks still flushed as the rubbed the back of her head.

“Oh. I was going to ask if you wanted to kiss me, but you cut me off before I could. Probably for the best.” Mercedes stared at her for a moment, mouth hanging open, watching her wave as she set off towards the door. Her arm snapped forward, grabbing Byleth's wrist, gripping it tight as she turned back. “What's wrong?”

Mercedes stepped up to her and cupped her face, staring down into her eyes for a moment before closing her own and kissing her. She felt Byleth's hands slipping round her back, pushed her own up through Byleth's hair as she felt her body burn, felt Byleth's pushing up against her. Felt her tongue brushing across her lips, felt a hand slipping down over her ass and squeezing it tight and drawing a moan from her. This was so much better than the dream. So much better than it could ever have been.

Byleth pulled away from her, and Mercedes giggled, opening her eyes and stumbling back to the bed. Byleth grinned at her, and Mercedes was still grinning as she walked up and pushed her back onto the bed. She looked up at her, heat pooling in her stomach as Byleth climbed on top of her, straddling her hips and blushing furiously.

“I really like your new haircut. It's really pretty. Everything about you is.” Mercedes started giggling again, reaching up to cup Byleth's face as she leaned into her, stopping just in front of hers and grinning. “I'm also glad you weren't teasing. That really would have been sad.”

“I'm glad you asked anyway. That trying not to embarrass myself didn't get in the way of this.” Blyeth kept smiling down at her, closing her eyes and humming as Mercedes pushed a hand up and stroked her hair. “Honestly, I don't know how you managed to say that to me. Don't know how you can just seem so unconcerned while saying anything like that.” Byleth shrugged, biting her lip as she pushed her head against Mercedes' hand.

“You asked. Feels easy to be honest about things with you. Plus, you seemed embarrassed about saying you'd fallen for me. I thought that if I said I wanted to kiss you, it'd make you feel better. Would make it easier for you to be honest if you wanted to be.” Byleth opened her eyes, sighing as she pulled away from her hand and leaned her forehead down against hers. Mercedes felt Byleth's fingers brushing through her hair, felt her heart pounding as Byleth smiled softly at her. “It felt like a very honest kiss. I liked it a lot. You're hot when you're being forward.”

She didn't have a chance to respond. Byleth was kissing her again, soft and gentle and full of care. She closed her eyes, letting out a little moan as Byleth's body pressed down on top of her, as Byleth's tongue brushing over her lips. Felt a molten heat forming in her stomach as she started moving down her neck, gently kissing and nipping and sucking on her skin. Mercedes dug her nails into her back, dragging them down it and finally hearing a moan from her. Goddess but that was a wonderful noise to hear. A wonderful noise to make her make. She wanted more. Wanted to be more forward.

Mercedes broke away from the kiss, grinning up at Byleth's red face for a moment before pushing her to the side and rolling on top of her. She sat up, catching her breath as she looked down at her, as she reached forward and ran a finger down the centre of her chest. Her hair was a mess and her cheeks were glowing and Mercedes had never seen someone so beautiful. Had never wanted to fuck someone so much in her life.

“You look good under me. It suits you.” Byleth blushed and looked away, and Mercedes grinned, dragging her fingers across her stomach and letting out a sigh. Her body was so hard. So muscular. She wondered what she looked like underneath that shirt. Underneath everything. “I… I want…” Her face was burning as Byleth looked back up at her, as she felt her thigh pushing up between her legs.

“Tell me what you want to do. What you want me to do to you.” Mercedes ground against her leg, moaning quietly and digging her nails into Byleth's stomach. Her whole body was on fire and she almost collapsed on to the bed, shaky arms barely holding her up. This was unbearable. This was incredible. How had she gone so long without doing this? She needed… She wanted...

“I don't know. I don't know what I want.” She suddenly felt deflated, felt embarrassed as Byleth kept looking up at her. She really didn't know. There were so many things, so many possibilities she'd read about and she didn't know what would feel good. What Byleth would enjoy. Byleth seemed to know what she was doing, knew how to touch her and tease her. She didn't. Knew what she wanted to touch, but had no idea of what would feel good. What she'd want her to do. “Sorry. I just… I'm sorry.” Byleth sat up, a gentle smile on her face as she cupped her cheek and gently ran her thumb across her skin.

“That's alright. It can be hard to know what you want. There's no pressure on that. If it helps, I can tell you what I want.” Mercedes stared down at her for a moment, panic slowly subsiding as she nodded and turned into her hand. As she planted a gentle kiss on her palm. She heard Byleth's breath hitch a little as she did, and started smiling again. Byleth would take care of her. She'd help her figure things out. She never had anything to worry about. “Alright. Well, how would you feel about sitting on my face?”

“I… Oh...” Her cheeks flushed as Byleth grinned up at her, as she kept circling her thumb across her cheek. She'd read about that. Thought about that. It sounded… Hot. She just… She just hadn't expected anyone to want her to do that. “Are you sure? I mean, it sounds… It sounds really good, actually. I just want to be sure that you're sure.”

“Of course I am. You've got really nice thighs. Big. Think they'll feel real good around my head.” Mercedes looked down, giggling and nodding and feeling her cheeks ache with how much she was blushing. She saw Byleth laying back on the bed and rolled off of her, pulling off her stocking and underwear before climbing back on top of her. She started lifting her dress up before her stomach twisted up a little and she let go of it.

“Would it be alright if I kept this on? I just… I'd feel better.” Byleth nodded, and Mercedes felt her body relax, slowly moving up to her head with a sigh. There were scars she didn't like other people seeing. That brought up bad memories. There'd be plenty of time for Byleth to see them. To get used to her seeing them. No need to rush things. She smiled down at her, settling her knees just above her head and leaning back, watching her dress bundle up under her chin. “Is this a good position?”

“It is. Just going to have to pull that over my head. It'll be a shame not to see your face at all, but… Well, going under your dress for this is pretty hot.” Mercedes grinned and nodded, biting her lip as she lifted up the hem of her dress and lowered herself onto Byleth before dropping it and covering her completely. She shuddered as she felt warm breath washed over her pussy, cheeks starting to burn again as she thought about what she was doing. No one had ever been there before. She'd been touched, a long time ago, but never like… Never…

“Goddess...” She almost collapsed forward as she felt Byleth kissing around the top of her thighs, as she felt hands slipping around them and gripping them tight, holding her in place. She gripped her headboard tight as her body burned, as she Byleth kept teasing her, kissing her, letting out a moan whenever she felt her lips brushing across her clit before moving to the other thigh. Her thighs kept trying to clamp down around her, muscles aching a little as Byleth kept holding her in place. Kept doing what she wanted to do. She closed her eyes, whimpering as she heard Byleth moaning underneath her, trying desperately to push down onto her. As she felt her body start to ache. “Please… Please can you...”

Mercedes' words trailed away, a loud moan escaping her as she felt Byleth's tongure dragging up through her folds. Felt it brush over her clit before starting again. She twitched and banged the headboard against the wall, momentarily embarrassed before Byleth went over her clit again and forced it from her mind. She tried to grind against her, toes curling as Byleth stopped holding her so tight. As she finally let her start moving again.

“Goddess… Fuck...” Her head fell forward, thighs squeezing tight around Byleth as she felt her tongue pushing inside of her, as she ground her clit against her nose. She let go of the headboard with one hand, grabbing Byleth's head through the dress and holding it in place as she starting humping her head, as she started moaning louder and louder. She could feel an unbearable, wonderful ache growing in her thighs, in her calfs, could feel her heart pounding in her chest as she kept grinding into her, kept feeling her tongue slip inside her and move across her lips and-

“Mercedes! You alright in there? You sound… I dunno, kind of in pain?” She froze in place, felt Byleth stop with her tongue inside her as they heard Ingrid's voice from the door. She turned to it, slowly letting go of Byleth's head and sighing. There were many nice things about having so many people she liked living so close to her. This was undoubtedly not one of them.

“I'm fine. Just… Just exercising.” She opened her eyes, wiping the sweat away from her forehead and biting back a moan as Byleth giggled between her legs and brushed against her clit again.

“Oh, alright. I was just wondering if you'd seen Byleth anywhere. Edelgard's been looking for her and is starting to become a bit of a pain.”

“Oh. Yes, she's just in here with me.” She stared down between her legs, giggling quietly and smiling as she touched her head through the dress. As she heard Ingrid shouting to someone from the other side of the door. “Seems you're a wanted woman. We'll have to find another time to try this, I suppose.” She let out another happy sigh as Byleth gently kissed her thigh, before the door opened behind her and made her stomach drop.

“I am so glad she's here with you. Edelgard has been looking everywhere for her and is getting quite annoying and I am getting this close to raising my voice at her and… Where is she?” Mercedes slowly turned to Ingrid, face burning as she watched her looking around the room. As she watched her cheeks turn red and her gaze freeze somewhere behind her. She followed Ingrid's gaze over her shoulder, a knife twisting in her guts as she saw Byleth's legs sticking out from under her dress. “Oh.”

“Byleth, I know that this is a day to relax and that it is important that you do so, but there are some things I would quite like to discuss with you, and I… Where is she?” Mercedes turned back to see Edelgard standing next to Ingrid, looking around the room till her gaze also froze just behind Mercedes' back. “Oh.” She closed her eyes, sighing and smiling serenely as the humiliation washed over her. Past a certain point, it seemed that feeling too much of it just made her calm again. There was nothing she could do about this. No actions left to be taken.

“Hi. I'll see you in the dining hall soon.” Edelgard and Ingrid both turned to her thighs, and Mercedes joined them, still smiling as she saw Byleth's hand popping out under the hem of her dress and waving. She wondered if Byleth had reached the same serenity she had, or if it was simply impossible to embarrass the woman.

“I...” Mercedes looked back at Edelgard, watching her grow redder, waiting for her to finish her sentence before she simply walked out the room in silence. She turned to Ingrid, still smiling as she stared back at her, mouth hanging open, face starting to glow before she slowly backed away, closing the door behind her. She sighed again, rolling off Byleth and standing at the edge of the bed, wondering how long the calm would last. She turned to look down at her, cheeks suddenly burning again as Byleth stared at her face.

“You… Uh…” Mercedes trailed off, body starting to burn again as she saw the wetness smeared across Byleth's face. Around her mouth and nose and how was her hair wet and- “Do you need a towel?” Byleth licked around her lips and nodded, and Mercedes kept staring at her before falling back onto the bed and kissing her. Byleth seemed surprised for a moment before she started kissing her back, moaning into her mouth as Mercedes licked across her lips. She was sticky and salty and Mercedes' felt her cheeks flush as she wondered what Byleth would taste like. When she'd get the chance to find out. She pulled away, panting as Byleth stared up at her, grin slowly growing.

“That was hot. That was really hot.” Mercedes grinned back, giggling as she stood up again and watched Byleth jump up beside her. “I really wish we didn't have to stop, but, well. Duty calls.” Mercedes nodded, still giggling as she watched Byleth wipe her mouth on her sleeve, a little bit of heat building in her stomach again at the sight.

“You should probably wash first. You, uh, smell.”

“I know. I will. Bit sad about it, though. Would be nice to keep smelling you for a while.” Mercedes stared at her, face starting to ache as Byleth moved forward to kiss her again before backing up to the door. “Let's have dinner together. And, you know… Maybe you can come back to my room tonight. If you'd like.” Mercedes nodded, waving a little as Byleth grinned, slowly blinked and disappeared out the door. She fell back on to the bed once she was gone, curling up and hugging her knees and giggling.

She'd never felt anything better. Never felt anything more perfect. She closed her eyes, remembering how it felt to kiss her, how Byleth's tongue felt against her clit, and let out a sigh. Tonight. They could do it more tonight. Surely she could wait till then. She rolled onto her back, staring up at the ceiling and smiling giddily.

She wondered if that blink was supposed to be a wink. It seemed like it should have been. She'd have to ask Byleth is she knew how to wink. If she even knew what a wink was. It would be so sweet if she didn't know how to wink.

Oh Goddess. Mercedes clasped her hand to her chest, still giggling as she thought about Byleth. Thought about the little scars on her arms. The way her hair had clung to her face before she left. How sweet her smile had looked when she'd talked about seeing her tonight.

She really was in love.

  
  


  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I simply like the idea that Byleth doesn't know how to wink.


End file.
